well i think i have to announce that i quit drawing...
actually there's 2 reasons...:

1- i haven't any time.. because i have a lot of things to do.. going to a graphic & web design course which is best in town.. working in a f*king job (that i never wanted to be a ..) and i arrive home at 10:30 - 11:00pm.. i start to study graphics and/or web at 12:00.. and i sleep around 3 o'clock... waking at 8 o'clock which makes me got late to work and walking around like a zombie..

2- i actually started to draw to make a vision for graphic designing.. ok.. i accept that i hoped to draw cool things and i thought that i could draw things from my mind someday to express myself...but honestly i saw it wasn't that much easy for me... besides that i realized it's impossible for me... i think some talents from birth are needed for that...

now.. i'll try my chance at graphics which i've been thinking to work at for many years...yeah that's my dream.. and like someone said i don't belive that God gave us the talent or power to make our dream..at least not to everyone.. but at least i'm ready for everything...isn't that the only advantage for every pessimist person?
i'm ready to work for 15 hours or smth.. i'm ready to clean the toilets.. i'm ready to do everything to learn that job... but that isn't enough...i still can't find a job at graphic design even as a trainee...

ok whatever.. i'm still studying and practicing.. maybe someday i can be a bad graphic designer.. who knows..